I love to hear people's stories ~ it gives me insight into their perspective. I share my story here because I find I can relate better to those teachers with similar life experience and background. Chances are, I've "been there," too. The pages on this web site, the information that I share ~ all of it comes from years dealing with my own issues and my own desire to understand what Life is all about.
I grew up in northern Maine, the oldest of 4 children, in a middle-class family. I was given much responsibility growing up, as my mother went back to work full-time when I turned 10. This experience gave me a sense of responsibility, but as I grew, I became overly responsible ~ it became a heavy burden. I was raised in the Catholic faith, and there were many things about it that I loved. It provided structure in my life, tradition, consistency and comfort. However, my relationship with Spirit didn't come into being until well into my twenties. In fact, it would be a long and difficult journey before my Awakening would occur, but Spirit is patient.
My family moved to Virginia from Maine, and it was a challenging re-orientation, from a small, rural town to a bustling suburb of our nation's capitol. The transition was difficult and took its toll on my family. I put myself through college and earned my degree. I worked in my chosen field for a few years, and then switched to administrative support when I was almost 25. Through that alternative career path route, I met the first of several teachers who would be there when I needed their guidance most.
In 1987, at the age of 27, I experienced an emotionally devastating breakup with someone who I believed would be my lifelong partner. I was not prepared, and it was very unexpected. Life looked very, very bleak. I turned to the Church for help, and was stunned at the way I was treated by my confessor. The teachings were not holding up the way I'd always believed they would, and I felt completely adrift. It was all I could do to go to my job every day ~ I was deeply depressed, withdrawn, and losing weight at a very unhealthy rate. I contemplated suicide often ~ and then my Awakening began. Spirit began to open my mind, my heart and my eyes. Over the next two decades, my learning continued. I met new teachers, encountered many new books and perspectives. I tried therapy with a counselor for a short time. I married, had a child, and got divorced. I continued to pursue the spiritual path, all the while dealing with the emotional, practical and financial challenges of being a single mother. For many years ~ even all the way back into adolescence ~ I'd always had this feeling of low-grade worry, pestering me deep in my gut. While life wasn't ideal ~ or so I thought at the time ~ there was nothing happening in my world to justify the constant feeling of worry, dread and apprehension. But I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Worry was my constant companion. I think I was addicted to it. My spirit, however, was always pushing me forward, toward a new way of living, a new way of being. Things were tight, but our needs were always met. I was able to buy my first house shortly before I turned 40. In the early spring of 1999, I heard about theLaw of Attraction for the first time. I also heard rumblings about 2012 and the New Age. My curiosity was piqued.
I was off to the races . . . .
"Several years ago, I was a single mother with a young daughter in elementary school. My own awakening had begun in the fall of 1987 and I could see a pattern of transformation weaving through my life. I was experiencing wake-up calls fairly regularly, but for whatever reason, I wasn't giving my attention to my soul's calling, and as a result, I experienced troubling financial and health issues, including vertigo and extreme fatigue. These were worsening but still I was reluctant to fully respond to "the Call." I experienced September 11 quite personally as I worked in a building within sight of the Pentagon, and now I was beginning to sit up and take real notice. After two particularly violent bouts of vertigo, I quit a very high-stress, well-paying job as an Executive Assistant. It was my intention to take the summer off, enjoy the extra time with my daughter and then to start my own business. With some surplus in my checking account, my plan was to build a home-based Virtual Assistant business until I could figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. My Soul, however, had its own plan -- for which I am deeply grateful. The day after I quit, I became very, very ill. In retrospect, I was probably experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. My body was detoxing and decompressing. For 4 months, I was almost completely debilitated. I couldn't have worked if someone had put a gun to my head! I still don't know how I managed to care for my then-10 year old daughter.
Eventually, my bank balance dwindled. I had a few part-time clients so I could feed us and keep the electricity on. And while I was feeling better, I still had a ways to go. I fell behind with my mortgage payments and other bills. I was somewhat troubled, but I'd been studying The Law of Attraction diligently with a dedicated and dear friend, and somehow, I knew everything would be all right. I didn't know how and I didn't know what it would look like, but I stayed focused on feeling good and staying open. One day, about 6 months into the process, I learned that the mortgage company was going to foreclose and put my house up for auction. It appeared I would lose my home. I was notified that my home would be auctioned in approximately a month's time. Fear and worry were always there but I'd come too far to turn back. I knew it would all work out, somehow. Then, 3 days before I was scheduled to lose my home, I received a previously unexpected and substantial inheritance. I was able to keep the house and catch up on my bills. I could continue building my at-home business! The Law of Attraction worked!
When the time came to sell my home, I used the same principles again to achieve my desired outcome--the perfect buyers at the perfect price! My timing, according to many "in the know" was lousy -- the week before Thanksgiving. But the Law of Attraction teaches us to focus on how we want to feel when we achieve our desired outcome, not on "reality." Two days after putting the house up for sale, I had an offer -- but it wasn't ideal. They offered my asking price but wanted me to pay all the points. I was feeling a little nervous -- everyone told me, including my realtor, that the holidays were a terrible time to sell a home. Maybe I should accept this offer -- I might not get another one! I told my realtor to set up a contract signing, all the while continuing to focus on the principles of The Law of Attraction. At the 11th hour -- literally two hours before I was scheduled to sign the first contract -- the perfect buyers showed up at my doorstep! They offered my asking price, no points and were thrilled with the house. Again, I had focused on -- and attracted -- my perfect outcome." These are two examples of how The Law of Attraction has worked in MJ's life. Create wonderful examples of your own!